Make It Stop, Make It Stop!

Way Too Much of the Damned Stuff!

Make it stop, make it stop!  Please make it stop!  We like snow, right?  How much is enough?  How much is too much?  How do we know?  

Well, I’m here to tell you, I think we have enough.  Way enough.  In fact, way too much for me, at least here at The Compound.  I'm tired of it!  I’m sick of it!   Last night we were blessed with or (cursed with) a foot and a half of the damn stuff. 

Then, I'm reminded that we need the WATER!  O.K. Fine...

Where's My Truck?

A Worm's Eye View!

On the bright side of this sh*tty, snowy situation, it was a great opportunity for the USSSA team to get a good workout.  




We expected a big snowfall, and all of the regular team members and training partners showed up for the training session.  It turned out to be a wonderful practice session, perhaps the most lengthy and grueling workout of the season, just before  the upcoming final competition, The World Cup of Snow Shoveling, which of course, will be held at The Compound shortly after the final snowfall of the season.  

Officials at The Compound will announce the date of the World Cup competition as soon as possible!

Don't Even Think About It!

My first encounter with a Zebra wasn’t on some far away, exotic African Safari, nor was it during a visit to the City Zoo.  My very first experience with a Zebra actually took place at a small, local office supply store.

I was preparing to do some design work for a client, which included quite a bit of drafting; lots of small technical details and such.  I’ve used regular pencils for drafting before, but they don’t stay sharp enough, long enough.  And if, heaven forbid, you have to erase something, it usually smudges and makes quite a mess.  Instead, I prefer to use a mechanical pencil for tedious tasks such as drafting; it’s just the right tool for the job, and I needed a new one.

I drove over to this little hole in the wall place, a Mom and Pop kind of office supply store; where they carry lots of specialty office supplies.  It just so happens to be the place that I get my Sparco yellow legal pads, (YES, those legal pads!); so this wasn’t my fist trip to the store.  I went directly to the pencil-drawing-drafting stuff  aisle and began trying out some of the pencils that were on the shelf.  Lots of them…well most of them were skinny, slippery little things with small shafts or barrels that just seemed awkward to hold, and my fingers would slip down towards the tip.  That’s not good.  I tried several others.  The same results as before.

I kept searching and I finally found something that caught my eye.  It was a Zebra.  In fact, it was the entire Zebra Family.  They were perched high on the top shelf near the back.  They seemed different, and I liked that.  The first one that I grabbed was a silver and black mechanical pencil, the M-301.  It was pretty nice; it had a black plastic grip at the bottom, but still slender and a little slippery to hold onto.  I looked further and found another one.  I tried it, but what I thought was a pencil, turned out to be a pen, the F-301.  It was nice, for a pen.  It too was black and silver, and it had a small rubber grip, but still quite slim, too slim for my liking; and I was really looking for a mechanical pencil. 

I continued my search, and there it was.  It seemed as if I’d just struck pay dirt!  Hit the Mother lode!  The Zebra 402. The M-402 to be precise.  It had a fuller shaped barrel, just right for a manly-man sized hand. It had a no-slip grip; a nice rubber grip at the bottom to keep your fingers from sliding down. I tried it out.  It was comfortable to hold onto and my fingers didn’t slip down to the tip! Sweet!  I went to grab another 402, and to my surprise, it was a pen, the F-402.  It was the twin brother, to the pencil.  A Pen and Pencil; a matched set.  Perfect!…I like Perfect!   

It was way more than I was looking for, and far beyond my wildest expectations, and I had to have ‘em.  I bought them both and returned home.  That was a few years ago, and since then I’ve bought a couple more of them, and some refills too, just to have on hand.

I, of course, ultimately finished the design project that I was working on at the time, and I still use the 402 mechanical pencil whenever I have to do that sort of work.  I keep it in the “Command Center” drawer with my other drafting stuff, but I use the pen all the time.

After years and years of continued use, I have come to realize that the Zebra F-402 is perhaps the finest all-purpose jottin’ down instrument in the world.  Oh, I’m sure there will be nay-sayers that may tend to disagree with me, but that’s because they just don’t know anything about pens …yet!  
I’m sure they’ll figure it out, sooner or later.

The kids (by kids, I mean all the grown up kids that come around a lot; and you know who you are), they come over all the time and want to borrow the 402.  They're always looking at the 402 in my pocket, often times trying to reach out and touch it or grab it from me.  Sometimes I’ll let them try it out, but when I see them trying to secretly slip it into their pocket, …(Oh, they PROBABLY just want to see how it looks in THEIR pocket, ...and surely not intending to thug it)…but, then I have to say - “Uh-uh” … “No.”  “Don’t Do It!”  …“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”   “Set IT down, back away from the 402 and nobody gets hurt!” 

This has happened a few times before, and usually after a short standoff, the 402 is released without incident. Later, thinking to myself, “Whew, that was another close one!”

The Y-Pad and the 402's

I never know when I’ll have to jot down something; sign some important documents or send an urgent memorandum.  It will be a rare occasion indeed, if I am ever to be separated from my 402.

There are two things in life that no one should ever be without.  A PK (pocket knife) and a 402. I always have the 402 in my shirt pocket, and yes, the PK, is always in my pants pocket, right where it belongs, and always at the ready!

After all, I was a Boy Scout.  An Eagle Boy Scout! …just sayin’!

NOTE:  As it turns out, I was recently informed by an undercover agent that at least one, maybe two of the extra Zebras were released from their holding cage, unbeknownst to me.  
Hmm…I wonder?… 

Hmm…The Plot Thickens!  Sounds like I’ve got a little detective work of my own to do! 

LUCY!…You got some ’splainin’ to do!

Stay tuned for updates as this story continues to develop!  

A New Taste Treat!

As you can imagine, The Committee is always looking for new and exciting ways to expand and improve the cuisine here at The Compound, along with offering some other culinary delights from time to time.  Well, I think we’re on to something great!

Monkey Meat…It’s Not Just for Special Occasions Anymore!   Now, more affordable than ever, and available at The Compound.  This rare delicacy is destined to become one of the fast favorites around here.  I’m sure the Guests and Visitors will be asking for it all the time. 

There’s nothing quite like grillin’ up a chunk o’monkey on the Barbecue and serving it to your very most discriminating guests and surprising them with a new taste sensation and watching them smile with delight.

They’ll say it tastes a lot like pork! ...Maybe chicken!

Please, Please, Don't Eat Me!

It makes a great Sammie.  Slice it thinly and serve on a toasted home made Vienna roll, with red onion, shredded cabbage, Havarti  and Sauce King flavors - Smokey Barbecue Sauce, along with a little Chili Garlic Aioli!

Monkey breast, monkey thigh, monkey leg, monkey loin and monkey butt…some of the best parts, just to name a few!  Yumm-EEE.  It don’t get no better!

Monkey Meat…Just thinkin’ about it makes me hungry!

However, be extra careful when serving; it has a tendency to want to jump off the plate! 

Note:  No monkeys were harmed during the photo shoot or the jotting down of this story.

The Disclaimer may or may not apply here!

Signs of the Times

The Compound, as you know, is famous for Saturday Sammies and Sunday Brunches.  But that's not all!

Over the past couple of years we have been hosting lots of events for family, friends and others, such as Birthday Parties, Christmas and Holiday Parties, Weddings and Receptions, Engagement Parties, The Food and Wine Festival, Spring Break & Ski Trip Getaways, St. Patrick's Day, Kentucky Derby Day, Cinco de Mayo, The Kickoff to Summer Barbecue Party, The Happy Birthday America Party, The Backyard Festival and Fireworks Display, The "Finally, Back To School" Party, and other seasonal events, just to name a few; not to mention, being named the Official Training Site and Venue for the USSSA and various other spring, summer, fall and winter sporting competitions.

Our ever expanding list of amenities here at The Compound is impressive and has been well received by the guests and visitors, including The Guest Cottage that we opened last year.  The Guest Cottage, with it’s growing popularity has become a favorite destination for quite a few visitors from all across the land who want to just get away for a night or a weekend to relax and unwind and forget about their miserable, dull, boring and pathetic lives; and add a little zest and excitement, and experience some of the finer things in life.  You know…Live A Little!  

Likewise, we have a lot of seasoned travelers that visit us throughout the year, who know how to party, love good times and lots of excitement, and they’ll usually book the Guest Cottage for an entire week, and sometimes even longer.

After experiencing such phenomenal and overwhelming success with all of the Parties, Celebrations and Events hosted over the past several years here at The Compound; and while rewarding, it is not without it’s challenges.  We have lots of guests and visitors coming and going, virtually at all hours of the day and night.  As usual, the staff is always trying to accommodate their every need; but it has become very hectic and chaotic at times to try to manage or control every situation. 

It has come to our attention, that perhaps we need to schedule the events and times a little more closely.  After serious thought and consideration, the Committee and Officials agree, and have decided to implement a few changes here, so that guests and visitors will know what they can expect, while enjoying their stay at The Compound.

For the safety and well-being of our guests, visitors and staff, we have posted a couple of reminders in prominent locations around here to let our guests know what’s going on.   We don’t expect to have any trouble or problems here; but just in case we have an overzealous or unruly crowd, we may have to impose some new restrictions. 

In extreme situations, heaven forbid; we may even be forced to turn off the "OPEN" sign!

…Signs of the Times, I suppose.  …Just sayin’!

Spring Break...At The Compound!

Once again, The Compound has been selected as the site for this year’s Spring Break and Ski Trip Vacation destination.  The Guest Cottage has been booked for the entire week, with guests coming from as far away as Washington and Texas, and places in between.  Guests will be arriving during the second week  of the month and will be staying for at least a week or so. 

Which Way Should We Go?

This years events will include a Food and Wine Festival to kick off the week, with a few dining excursions to some of the favorite local hot spots.  Nightly entertainment will be provided by the popular group, THE G-GIRLS, comprised of the G-Sisters, G-1 and G-2, and also appearing with the other performers this season is the newest member G-3, who joined the group nearly a year ago.

In addition to the weeks activities at The Compound, guests and visitors will have the opportunity to enjoy several ski days at select Ski Clubs and Resorts in the area.  This year’s Spring Break and Ski Trip Vacation is expected to be a huge success.

72 Hour Survival Kit...At The Compound

With all of the stories and reports in the media lately regarding the harsh winter weather,  unexpected storms all across the country, and other natural disasters; not to mention the chaos and unrest around the world; this of course, is a concern to us, and we felt it was necessary and important to put together a survival kit.  A big 3 day survival kit.  You know, a kit with all the must haves; the basic necessities to get us through the first couple of days here at The Compound; if, heaven forbid, something terrible were to occur.  I think it’s important for everyone to put together a survival kit and keep it on hand.

I thought about all the things that are important, (photos, keepsakes, important papers, documents, and the like), and all the things that would be difficult to survive without.  After a lot of thought, this is what I’ve included in OUR kit.  Keep in mind, this List is just a guideline to help get you started with your own kit.  You may want to change a thing or two, especially if you have any favorites.

3 Cases of Bud Light (1 case per day, I hope that’s enough!)
A Big Cooler filled with ice
1 bag of Kettle Chips
1 squirt bottle of Sauce King-Chili Garlic Aioli

1 bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos
1 bag of Pretzels
1 bag of Tortilla Chips
1 bottle of Salsa
A few Bottles of Water
A Thermos full of Fresh Hot Coffee
A Warm Blanket
A Half Dozen Shop Towels
...(the good ones - 2 per day)
A Big Flashlight
...(check the batteries from time to time)
A Wrench (to turn off the gas meter)
A Couple of Band Aids
A Roll of Toilet Paper (2 - if you have issues)
A Tape Measure...(in case I need to measure something)
A Pocket Knife (PK)
A Yellow Legal Pad (Y-Pad)
And a Zebra F-402 (in case I need to jot down something)

Remember, this is a just a list to get you through the first couple of days.  Depending on individual stress levels or fear factors, you may want to adjust the quantities for your own personal needs or satisfaction.

Peace of Mind.  There’s nothin’ like knowin’ you’re ready!   …Just sayin’!

The Loss of A Loved One...

The Loss of a Loved One.  Wow…that’s hard for me to even say.  But the Loss of a Loved One affects us all.  Everyone, sooner or later, will experience and suffer the pain of Loss.  Even us.  Even at The Compound.  Try as we may - to hide it, or mask it in some sort of way, no one is immune to loss or sadness.  The Loss of a Loved One can be a devastating event. Everyone needs to deal with it, or should deal with it in their own personal way; and as hard and difficult as it may be,  try to come to grips with it, in one way or another.

Our Loss, this tragic event, this terrible void will be felt from one end of The Compound to the other.  This will shake us to the core.  This loss will rock the very foundation of our world.

The Loss of This Loved One, Our Loved One, was near and dear to our hearts, right from the very start.  Oh, I know you’re not supposed to have favorites.  You’re supposed to share the love, spread the love evenly.  Equal to all, unconditionally, without question. But…we did have a favorite; and our favorite was Alexia.  Our love, our great love, Alexia, is gone. 

Alexia has been lost.  I can’t believe it.  Lost forever!  Dang it!  How could this happen?  Why did this happen?  Could we have done anything different?  Anything sooner?  It’s hard to say.  It’s hard to second guess.   A sad day for all of us here at The Compound, the ones that are left behind.  But, as a consolation, I suppose we still have one another.

We felt something had been going on for a long, long time; something just wasn’t right.  Alexia was getting harder and harder to find.  We looked everywhere. We looked at all the big stores, the mom and pop stores too. Alexia was drifting away, simply disappearing from sight.  Whenever we could find Alexia, we would do all that we could for Alexia, we would spend all that we could afford, to get Alexia back home.

Gone...But Not Forgotten!

Alexia Onion Strips, the “natural” crunchy snack wonder of the world, were featured on many a menu here, and were always served along side nearly every Saturday Sammie as far back as I can remember.   They were a big hit and always served with a side of Sauce King dip.  Oh, there will be snacks that come and go, here at The Compound.  There will be other snacks…imitators, wannabes, ...snacks that will try to take the place of our beloved Alexia Onion Strips, but those are big shoes to fill, er, I mean bags to fill.  Again, Alexia is gone!

Yesterday was the last day. The final day.  The saddest day of all.  As the last bag of Alexia, known to exist, was enjoyed by all, right down to the last yummy bit of crumbly goodness.  No longer will we enjoy the carefree days of simply going into the pantry and grabbing a fresh bag to replace the empty one.  Vanished too, is the joy and pleasure of serving these to our guests and visitors, and watching them sample and enjoy these delightful snacks again and again.  Alexia is gone! 

An Empty Shelf...Stands In Solemn Tribute!

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at another snack in the same loving and adoring way that I felt towards Alexia…Only time will tell.  They say, time heals all wounds.  That remains to be seen.  The jury is still out.  We’ll just have to wait and see!

Gone, but not forgotten.  Well…at least we’ll have our memories.  Perhaps, haunting memories of  the good ol’ days… days gone by…Again, Alexia is gone.  A very, very sad day.

We are making a personal plea here.  We are asking for your help.  If you know the whereabouts of Alexia, or have any knowledge of where Alexia may be hiding, please call 1-555-EAT-SNAKS !  …We still have our HOPE…To get us through these difficult and trying times!  ...Just sayin'!

Near Disaster...At The Compound!

It was a Saturday, much like any other Saturday here at The Compound.  The day started off as usual, morning coffee, news updates, Treat-Treats, etc., etc, etc.  I had to run a few errands late in the morning; Jill was preparing for Saturday Sammies, and making some of the specialty dishes for lunch that the locals have come to appreciate.

Saturday's menu consisted of Cubano Hot dogs, featuring thinly sliced ham, melted Swiss cheese, grilled hot dogs, with a yellow mustard, jalapeno pepper and green chili sauce, home made pickled cucumbers and red onions, all served on oven toasted hot dog buns, along with the overwhelming favorite soup at The Compound, Jill’s Famous Beer Cheese Soup.

When I returned home from my doing my errands; one of which was to pick up the special hot dog buns for the Cubano hot dogs, Jill was ready to start the BC soup.  She had cut up, chopped up, sliced up and diced up, measured and weighed, and otherwise prepared all of the ingredients for the soup and was ready to begin the cooking process, as she’s done countless times before.  She had her big 5 quart pot heating on the stove and she started to put in the ingredients, onions, potatoes, spices, etc. browned them, sautéed them, added the chicken stock, the chicken broth, etc., let simmer, then she added the all important and necessary name sake ingredient - the Beer, 3 bottles of Beer.  All of that needs to be heated, to just short of a boil, then you add the pound and a half of grated cheddar cheese. Stir in and let the cheese melt into the rest of the soup, then add a little heavy cream,  continue heating for a while and you’re ready to serve. 

Well, …THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE ...in a perfect world, but NO!, Not Here, Not Today!  Let's  back up to the add the cheese part.  I was stirring, because that’s what I do, and Jill was adding the shredded cheese by the handful out of a large glass bowl that was sitting on the counter next to the stove.  Everything was going as planned; but then she had to get the few remaining morsels, the tidbits of cheese, the stragglers, the ones that stick to the sides of the bowl that most chefs or cooks would just leave behind, but not Jill; NO...she wanted to get all of that cheesy goodness.  She picked up the bowl and held it over the big bucket of hot boiling soup, trying to drag out the cheesy remnants with her fingers, when the unimaginable, …the unthinkable happened. 

Yes, yes, you guessed it!  She dropped the near empty cheese bowl into the pot of hot boiling Beer Cheese Soup with the partially melted cheese, potatoes, onions etc., …not to mention the BEER, (I hate to waste the Beer), and Oh My Hell!; …the bowl landed perfectly, bottom first in the hot pot of soup.  If we had been playing basketball, it would have been a swoosh, nothin’ but net! A three-pointer for sure!  It dropped dead center, in a near full pot of boiling hot, of would be, should be, yummy goodness, and S#*t went everywhere.  ...I mean EVERYWHERE! 

It splashed on the cabinets, down the cabinets, all over the backsplash, on the canisters sitting next to the cook top, all over the other burners,  on the exhaust fan, in the exhaust fan, down the exhaust fan, in the vents, in the filters!  It even splashed chunks of shredded cheese and potato on the front of the oven 4 feet away!   I think Jill even got a bit of a splash on her shirt sleeve.  (Serves her right!….just sayin’!)

Oh My Gosh, Holy Crap, Holy S#*t, What a Mess, What a Freaking Mess!  What a Nightmare!  Holy Crap again!.  Needless to say, amidst my ranting and raving, and to my surprise, a little laughter from Jill, we both jumped to the rescue.  I moved the pot of soup and grabbed some towels, (remember Shop Towels anybody?  They come in really handy at a time like this!)  and we proceeded to clean up the mess.  I manned the sink and continued to rinse out the soup stained towels and handed Jill clean ones to continue mopping up.  “Holy Crap, Jill,  I can’t believe you really dropped that bowl.  Holy Freaking S#*t, what a mess!”, I said , with calmness and in the nicest possible way!

MESS?...WHAT MESS?

Well, 30 minutes or so later,  (it seemed like an hour or two), and after a lot of near cussing, and getting somewhat back to normal, (Normal?), Jill put the soup back on the burner, resumed the cooking process in hopes of salvaging the soup.  The soup surprisingly seemed to reheat without any problem, as if nothing had ever happened.  The heavy cream was added, and with my expert stirring abilities, the soup finally came together.

The guests arrived a short time later.  The Cubano Hot Dogs and Beer Cheese Soup were served without further incident.  The Hot Dogs were a big hit and oh, by the way, the Beer Cheese Soup was surprisingly better than ever.  The guests and visitors were none the wiser and enjoyed the rest of their day at The Compound.

Several hours later, with a full belly, and after being heavily sedated, I was able to regain my composure and move on with my day. 

After all, nobody ever said it’s "bull and doring" at The Compound!

Come to think of it....S#*t Really DID Hit The Fan!

FYI:  No "Disclaimer" needed here!

Mondays Have Been Cancelled!

Nobody ever looks forward to Mondays. Mondays have always been dreaded.  Mondays are feared by most and hated by many, and our extensive research shows that Monday is the most common sick day at the office, workplace or job site. 

Mondays have always taken a hit, and have long been the down and out theme of many a song lyric; …Rainy days and Mondays always get me down; …Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day, ...Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way;  …Except for Monday, which was never good anyway; …It’s just another manic Monday; etc., etc., etc. …You get my drift...
Mondays suck, …So…

Due to extremely poor results, bad reviews and  a chronic, lingering, and general lack of interest, Mondays are hereby cancelled at The Compound, effective immediately.  The first official workday of the week to be recognized here at The Compound, from this point forward, will be Tuesdays.  The other days, Wednesday through Sunday will remain unchanged.

Saturdays and Sundays, are of course, the overwhelming favorite days of the week here at The Compound; but are gone all too quickly.  Even if we take a Friday, or a half day Friday, the weekends are still not long enough.  After the Saturday morning rituals of fresh hot coffee, news updates and the refreshing, and always popular Treat-Treats; the day is packed full, with chores, yard work, maintenance issues and other stuff that has to be taken care of.  Saturday Sammies are famous for lunch here, and guests and visitors have come to expect them.  After a late lunch, the day is pretty well shot.

Sundays are always enjoyable too.  The morning always starts with a cup or two of fresh hot coffee and the morning news program, followed by Treat-Treats and Sunday Brunch; and we usually have a house full of guests that show up to enjoy the grub!  The rest of the day is normally spent trying to finish up the Saturday chores that didn’t get done.  Ultimately, weekends at The Compound are just way too short.

As Mondays have been cancelled here, Officials are pleased to announce that Monday will be replaced by FUNDAY at The Compound, …and FUNDAY will become the third day of the weekend.  It will be a catch up day; a day to finish up the things that didn’t get done on Saturday or Sunday, and will be sort of a transition day where we can prepare for, and ease into Tuesday, the first day of OUR work week.  It may even be used as a personal day if all of the chores are done.

We are confident that this change will be well received by all of our regular guests and visitors, and will likely be adopted soon by the business community at large, all across the Land!

New calendars will be available soon to replace the old, antiquated and outdated ones. 
Call 1-555-FUN-DAYS and request your new updated calendar! Call today so that you don‘t miss out on this new and exciting opportunity to change the future!

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown Down!

Our youngest son K has been blessed, or cursed with the manly man gene, or the hair gene, which ever you prefer to call it, and he is extremely proud to have it.  He has thick dark hair, pretty much everywhere, I hear.  Not having witnessed his gift or his ability myself, other than his whiskers, or really wanting to, ("TMI"), he is always sure to tell me all about his hair raising experiences. 

The other day, K and his wife D, were at The Compound enjoying Saturday Sammies with us and he was taunting me with his beard growing abilities.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve sported a beard, but in my day, it was well, not too bad.  My abilities began early on, in Junior High School, if memory serves me correctly, and it just got better and better through High School.  As the winner of many beard growing contests at the time, I continued and honed my skills and expertise in the art of beard grooming and I had a beard for many, many years.

"The Gauntlet"

K, not knowing what he would unleash upon himself, challenged me to a beard growing contest.  Not having had a beard for a long long time, and wondering to myself, ...Do I still have it in me? ...Do I still have the ability, the skill, the drive to compete again?  While my whiskers may not be the same handsome, dark brown color they used to be, way back when; I figured I could probably still grow one.

Not wanting to walk away from the challenge, I picked up the gauntlet and graciously accepted.  The contest was to last for one week only, from Saturday to Saturday.

Well, today is Saturday, the scheduled final day of the contest.  The votes have been cast, the judges have spoken, and the Fat Lady has sung.  The results are in, and the results are conclusive… very, conclusive.
And the winner is…

Well, let's just say the Winning Streak continues, ...The Legend,
they say, ...Lives On!

However, in all fairness and with all due respect, K put up a pretty good fight, and may have had a slight edge, and I emphasize slight, when it comes to color.  Later in the evening I was awarded the highly coveted Golden Razor Trophy.  After the award ceremony, I said to K with great encouragement, "Keep on practicing, Buddy, I'm sure you'll do better next time!"

So the moral to this story is: growing a beard is much like riding a bicycle, even if the bicycle changes color,  you never really forget how! 

So Don’t Be Messin’ with “Father Time!”   …Just sayin’!