"Pink Tissues"...Really?!?

I’m not the kind of guy that gets overly excited about a box of Kleenex.  But a while back, Jill bought several boxes of tissue at the supermarket to have on hand and to put in the bathrooms and in a couple of other ‘select’ locations around the house.  One of the boxes, however, caught my eye.  It wasn’t just a regular rectangular box of tissue, the kind we all grew up with; it was one of the new ‘designer’ boxes that are supposed to look nice and perhaps add a ‘little class’ to one’s décor.

The box of tissue that I really liked was a square box of Kleenex that had a chess game design of a black and tan chessboard and had chess men on all four sides.  It was a handsome box, a manly-man kind of box that anyone would be proud to own and display in any prominent location in their home for all to see and enjoy; almost like a piece of fine art!

"Kleenex Decor"

For a box of Kleenex, it actually looked quite nice, and it really did fit in with our décor. We put the box of Kleenex at the game table in the corner of the family room, which surprisingly has a chess board with all the king’s men set up and is ready to play a game at any time. 

Several weeks later Jill went back to the super and bought more of the ‘chess game’ boxes of Kleenex.  Now there’s also one of the boxes of Kleenex at the ‘Command Center’ and one on the nightstand by my side of the Big Bed, and they've been there for a long time.

These were the coolest looking Kleenex boxes that I had ever seen and we would use them, and when empty, just throw the box away, …um … I mean ‘recycle’ them with little or no regard to the fact that someday the boxes would no longer be available; or with little or no regard to the "genious's" who would come to design  future boxes of Kleenex.

 

Well, one day Jill went to the super to get some more cool boxes of Kleenex and the inevitable and the unthinkable happened. She couldn’t find the Kleenex boxes with the chess men design.   Why would any Kleenex box designer in their right mind divert from such a classic and handsome design and move on to some stupid, ugly ‘art deco’ patterns and  designs with lame pastel colors that wouldn’t look good in a bathroom , or even in a hospital room for that matter?  We needed some Kleenex so Jill bought a couple of the ‘ugly’ boxes of tissues along with the other supplies and brought them home.

The Kleenex box at the Command Center was empty and it needed to be replaced.  I got one of the new 'ugly' boxes and looked at it; then I looked at my empty chess men box of Kleenex – then it hit me – a stroke of brilliance.  Sort of an Ah-Ha moment for me …I carefully opened the side flaps of the chess men box, then I opened the 'ugly' box in the same way and simply removed the whole stack of new tissues and inserted them into the chess men box.  Perfect.  It worked like a charm.

 

Then, I carefully sealed up the side flaps with a small piece of invisible scotch tape and -voila!- it appeared to be a brand new chess men box of Kleenex, and no one would ever be the wiser!

Well, this Kleenex tissue replacement ritual has been going on for a couple of years now. Everything has been just fine with this whole thing until recently.  Jill went shopping and she knew that we'd eventually need more tissues, and well, on this particular trip to the super, Jill just grabbed a couple of “pink” designer boxes of replacement Kleenex to have on hand.

 

I guess Kleenex tissues come in different colors and the ‘buyer’ should be on the lookout to make sure that the tissues are ‘white’, regardless of box color or box design.  When the time came again to refill my manly-man box of Kleenex tissue at the Command Center, I grabbed one of the pink boxes from the pantry. I opened the box and believe it or not, I found pink tissues in the pink box.  Wow, how pretty!?

 

Needless to say I wasn’t really thrilled about this.  I showed Jill and explained, “Now dear, if you look carefully at the box of Kleenex and 'actually read what color the tissues are' you may have noticed that it says "pink tissues" right on the box..”   “Sweet!”, I exclaimed.  I couldn’t have been more excited.

Pretty in Pink, isn't it!

I said to Jill, “Pink tissues, eh?  You really expect me to use pink tissues in my manly-man box of Kleenex at the Command Center?  Really?  What if somebody sees me?  What would they think? I can’t believe it!  Now, can you imagine….ME using pink tissues?  Really?   How embarrassing!  Pink Tissues! - Really?" 

"Well, I don’t even know who you are anymore!"

Not wanting to be wasteful and just throw out the 'pretty little things', I inserted them into my manly-man box of Kleenex and forced myself to use up all the pink tissues, being cautious not to let anyone see me.  It wasn’t easy for me, but I struggled through it.

Now I think Jill is a little more careful and is very aware of the ‘replacement tissues’ that she buys at the super, but I really think she bought the “pink tissues” on purpose! 

Just sayin’!

P.S. Just days ago, our daughter L discovered this phenomenon of tissue replacement, and I believe her perception of "reality" here at The Compound  has been shattered.  I think she may be a little concerned by my strange, but brilliant behavior, if not totally disturbed and haunted by this forever!

Come to think of it, it does give a whole new meaning to the term "tissue replacement", doesn't it?

One last note - These handsome "objet d'art" designer Kleenex boxes have been the target of many a would-be-thief. Not sayin' who, but we did recently have two guests from the San Diego area!  ...Hmm