It was a Saturday, much like any other Saturday here at The Compound. The day started off as usual, morning coffee, news updates, Treat-Treats, etc., etc, etc. I had to run a few errands late in the morning; Jill was preparing for Saturday Sammies, and making some of the specialty dishes for lunch that the locals have come to appreciate.
Saturday's menu consisted of Cubano Hot dogs, featuring thinly sliced ham, melted Swiss cheese, grilled hot dogs, with a yellow mustard, jalapeno pepper and green chili sauce, home made pickled cucumbers and red onions, all served on oven toasted hot dog buns, along with the overwhelming favorite soup at The Compound, Jill’s Famous Beer Cheese Soup.
When I returned home from my doing my errands; one of which was to pick up the special hot dog buns for the Cubano hot dogs, Jill was ready to start the BC soup. She had cut up, chopped up, sliced up and diced up, measured and weighed, and otherwise prepared all of the ingredients for the soup and was ready to begin the cooking process, as she’s done countless times before. She had her big 5 quart pot heating on the stove and she started to put in the ingredients, onions, potatoes, spices, etc. browned them, sautéed them, added the chicken stock, the chicken broth, etc., let simmer, then she added the all important and necessary name sake ingredient - the Beer, 3 bottles of Beer. All of that needs to be heated, to just short of a boil, then you add the pound and a half of grated cheddar cheese. Stir in and let the cheese melt into the rest of the soup, then add a little heavy cream, continue heating for a while and you’re ready to serve.
Well, …THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE ...in a perfect world, but NO!, Not Here, Not Today! Let's back up to the add the cheese part. I was stirring, because that’s what I do, and Jill was adding the shredded cheese by the handful out of a large glass bowl that was sitting on the counter next to the stove. Everything was going as planned; but then she had to get the few remaining morsels, the tidbits of cheese, the stragglers, the ones that stick to the sides of the bowl that most chefs or cooks would just leave behind, but not Jill; NO...she wanted to get all of that cheesy goodness. She picked up the bowl and held it over the big bucket of hot boiling soup, trying to drag out the cheesy remnants with her fingers, when the unimaginable, …the unthinkable happened.
Yes, yes, you guessed it! She dropped the near empty cheese bowl into the pot of hot boiling Beer Cheese Soup with the partially melted cheese, potatoes, onions etc., …not to mention the BEER, (I hate to waste the Beer), and Oh My Hell!; …the bowl landed perfectly, bottom first in the hot pot of soup. If we had been playing basketball, it would have been a swoosh, nothin’ but net! A three-pointer for sure! It dropped dead center, in a near full pot of boiling hot, of would be, should be, yummy goodness, and S#*t went everywhere. ...I mean EVERYWHERE!
It splashed on the cabinets, down the cabinets, all over the backsplash, on the canisters sitting next to the cook top, all over the other burners, on the exhaust fan, in the exhaust fan, down the exhaust fan, in the vents, in the filters! It even splashed chunks of shredded cheese and potato on the front of the oven 4 feet away! I think Jill even got a bit of a splash on her shirt sleeve. (Serves her right!….just sayin’!)
Oh My Gosh, Holy Crap, Holy S#*t, What a Mess, What a Freaking Mess! What a Nightmare! Holy Crap again!. Needless to say, amidst my ranting and raving, and to my surprise, a little laughter from Jill, we both jumped to the rescue. I moved the pot of soup and grabbed some towels, (remember Shop Towels anybody? They come in really handy at a time like this!) and we proceeded to clean up the mess. I manned the sink and continued to rinse out the soup stained towels and handed Jill clean ones to continue mopping up. “Holy Crap, Jill, I can’t believe you really dropped that bowl. Holy Freaking S#*t, what a mess!”, I said , with calmness and in the nicest possible way!
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MESS?...WHAT MESS? |
Well, 30 minutes or so later, (it seemed like an hour or two), and after a lot of near cussing, and getting somewhat back to normal, (Normal?), Jill put the soup back on the burner, resumed the cooking process in hopes of salvaging the soup. The soup surprisingly seemed to reheat without any problem, as if nothing had ever happened. The heavy cream was added, and with my expert stirring abilities, the soup finally came together.
The guests arrived a short time later. The Cubano Hot Dogs and Beer Cheese Soup were served without further incident. The Hot Dogs were a big hit and oh, by the way, the Beer Cheese Soup was surprisingly better than ever. The guests and visitors were none the wiser and enjoyed the rest of their day at The Compound.
Several hours later, with a full belly, and after being heavily sedated, I was able to regain my composure and move on with my day.
After all, nobody ever said it’s "bull and doring" at The Compound!
Come to think of it....S#*t Really
DID Hit The Fan!
FYI: No "Disclaimer" needed here!